I’ve been hearing the name ‘Migos’ for years now. But just like alcoholism and heroin addiction, I did my best to avoid it even though it’s everywhere. I’ve heard my share of shit rap and can pretty much predict how shitty the newest shit on the radio is going to be. Migos, however, blew my mind.
Migos is a “rap group” (quotes absolutely required) made up of three guys. Their unique rap style requires three people even though they “spit rhymes” at the breathtaking speed of one word per 1.5 seconds. Kids who recite the alphabet in school or count numbers are learning the same rap style that Migos uses. It’s easy to break down their style; one guy says one word, second guy makes a random sound and the third guy says a word later. They need three guys and autotune for their spasticated rap. Even ‘Twinkle Twinkle Litter Star’ requires a faster flow than these guys have. If rap is art then these guys are kids with crayons.
They even collaborate with other one-word rappers like Lil Yachty (Cheetos-haired burnt turd looking dude with annoying voice), Lil Uzi Vert Yachty (Cheetos-haired burnt turd looking dude with annoying voice) and Post Malone (Teenage girl with a fake beard and annoying voice pretending to be a rapper).
Their videos have hundreds of millions of views each on Youtube, making them the most economical rappers of all time. These guys are easily making the most money any rapper has made while using the least number of words possible, even if you double their word count by considering sounds like “kah” and “skrrt skrrt” as words.
|Graphs make everything scientific|
Their style only makes sense if you consider that they’re asthmatic rappers and only have the lung capacity to say one word at a time. The most amazing part is that despite talking slowly, people have a hard time understanding what they’re saying. I’ve been listening to hip-hop for a decade and I’ve listened to every Migos track I could find but I still have no clue what they’re trying to say. They must be consuming some combination of weird drugs like cough syrup and scorpion venom to come up with such stuff because I have no other explanation.
People get worried that these mumble rappers are the future of hip-hop music. Migos is not the future of hip-hop because Migos is not hip-hop. Music like this is different genre that I call ‘starter-kit rap’ or 'disabled rap'.