Facebook Archive 2




Another compilation of original FB statuses and the like.

Click Here for Part 1.




If there's one thing I've learnt from Trance, it's that unce unce unce unce.

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Their next step is to ban people.
A people-free future is a disease-free future.


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King's Speech = english Taare Zameen Par

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Exhaust Fans - Now in HD.

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Pressuring the Government into quickly passing Jan Lokpal might not sound like the right thing to do. But as a great man once said :
"Gundagiri ko khatam karne ke liye mujhe Gunda banna padega."

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Independence Day Special


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Today I walked 1.5kms on the treadmill for Anna Hazare.

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This is what you call a pipe dream.


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Just because you are offended doesn't mean you're right. - Ricky Gervais

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S/he's not even trying anymore.


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I think it's about time for CID : The Movie

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Every day in the newspaper there's something new that scientists have blamed on genes. Fat? Smell bad? Drink too much coffee? Just drink too much? It's not you, it's your genes. Does that make sense?

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First homosexuality and now suicide attempts have been decriminalized. Thanks to this move, both - the gays and their parents - have something to celebrate about.

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On one hand : Govt says daily expenditure of Rs. 32 is enough to be considered above poverty line.

On the other : Maharashtra ministers ask for their allowance to buy a car to be raised from 7 lakh to 15 lakh because their cars don't have airbags in the back.

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Funky Dog in The Streets


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The next time Facebook changes its layout, they should provide an "Add Complaint about new Layout" button for people's convenience. It would have a dozen templates describing how much the new layout sucks.

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Updated saying : Everyone has photographic memory. Some just forgot to insert an SD card.

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The world's most eco-friendly car. 


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Autorickshaw Union leader Sharad Rao proposes doing away with meters because of cases of tampering.

Off the record, he also suggested that the ICC should ban cricket balls to prevent ball tampering.

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I can't wait for Ra.One to release. Then this irritating bombardment of ads will finally end.

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Dexter Season 6 starts on Gandhi Jayanti. Wah wah.

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Bigg Boss 5's hosts. True artistic integrity.


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Morning Report : Steve Jobs wakes up in what looks like a giant Apple Store. However, there is no sign of iTunes anywhere.

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Cupboards - Good for storing clothes and dumb kids.

Killer Comment :



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I would buy a non-pirated copy if Rockstar Games ever releases GTA Gunda

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Thanks to the BBM crash, millions have suddenly looked up and noticed the world around them.

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While cybercrime is a serious problem, another serious issue is that of hackers who cut down trees.

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What an unbelievably depressing comic.


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Headphones in. Diwali out

...almost.

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Indian Metallica fans were promised tod-phod and they got it one way or another.

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Star World censors out the word "breast" in subtitles. Maybe it's just me, but "breast cancer" is less offensive than "****** cancer".

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Why do we have to pretend Frieda Pinto is hot? She's famous for playing a jhopdiwali, not exactly a glamourous role.

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I used to think The Dark Knight was the coolest thing ever. Then I played Batman: Arkham Asylum

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Even if acting skills are hereditary, the child is Aishwariya and Abhishek's. I don't get what the hype is about.

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Yo dawg, I heard you like dogs and cookies. So I gave yo dog Cookie a cookie so you have Cookie while she has a cookie, dawg.

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So is Rockstar actually bad or do people just find the "tera haq tu hi rakh" status too funny to resist?

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Apple 4S 16GB @ Rs.44,500.
When iPhone 5 releases you will have to sell your soul to Apple.

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Mohd. Azharuddin says Kambli has "no class, no background, no character" and that he "betrayed the country" due to his recent comments. Strong words from someone who got banned for match fixing.

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Denmark celebrated their annual whale-killing festival on Tuesday. Somehow people sharing pics on Facebook didn't stop them...

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(After Sharad Pawar got slapped)

*opens Mumbai Mirror*
Suhel Seth : NO THAT WAS WRONG! How he can slap?! Violence is bad >_<
*turns the page*
"Party workers run riot"

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If last years Bigg Boss contestants were bottom-of-the-barrell, this year's are from a cave somewhere near the earth's core.

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This pic is India in a nutshell.

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Oh my God, Tom Cruise is in India! I can't wait to watch his new movie Mission Impossible : Ghost Protocol starring Bollywood's own Anil Kapoor!!!!!

[This status has been paid for by the friends, family, pets, employees, agents and furniture of Tom Cruise because he doesn't have any fans]

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In the future, there will be a whole iDictionary filled with all the things which have been iNamed.

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I'm not sure how that word adds to the joke.

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This censorship will start with "offensive religious material" and move onto "material offensive to the Gandhis". (Swiss) Bank on it.

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Manmohan Singh is the only one who won't be bothered by censorship.
(Because he has nothing to say)

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Science has advanced leaps and bounds but Cadbury Eclairs still has that f-ing white paper inside which sticks to the chocolate.

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There was a lizard in my room. I started watching Ra.One and it ran away.

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Democracy gives the right to choose our leaders. But who chooses who we get to choose?

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Some songs don't just get stuck in your head. They get lodged in your skull.

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This is wrong to laugh at, but it's like an unexpected punchline. There wasn't really a reason to mention the door.

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Indian Govt suing Google for objectional content is like UN suing India for having Himesh. No one likes it, but it has the right to exist.

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The people on MTV Cribs have such huge houses that they can't even show it in one go. They have to take a break just to show the whole house.

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I don't get why people are worried about western culture invading ours...as if we even know what true Indian culture is. The british (ie. the west) lived here for centuries and only left 60 years ago. Even the tshirt you wear is western. So why does "westernization" still bother us?

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Fuck SOPA. If it wasn't for piracy i'd have watched about 15 movies and heard 3 albums total.

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Winter - That time of the year when there's a use for the fan speed knob.

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Slo-mo + Dexter music can make anything look evil.

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Bournvita, horlicks etc are marketed like milk-miscible drugs which will transform your kid into a studying machine. The only effect they have on me is leaving a weird aftertaste.

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After SRK's recent incident, impressionable kids and teens have started slapping each other for fun. Three have died from excessive slappage.

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The following is the most useful advice I have read on the internet. It changed the way I look at things. "Rub soap on mirror to prevent fogging."

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"Money doesn't buy happiness." That quote is most apt for hindi serials. Not even being covered in gold from head to toe can keep these women from crying.


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